Fathers

This man exudes what it means to be a selfless, gentle, fun and loving father.

We are blessed that we get to spend each day with him.

He balances family, work, studying Chinese, getting a masters, mentoring tons of guys, helping around the house and on and on I could go.

He is continually teaching, loving and sacrificially giving to each of us.

Happy Father's Day!!

 

 

And to my Dad.

Well, he has shown me what it means to live faithfully to the Lord, family and the church.

He will do whatever to support and encourage his children.

He doesn't live for retirement...He lives for God's glory each and EVERY DAY!

So very thankful I get to call him Dad!!

My children sure love spending time with their Pops!

Really wishing I could take him out for some chips and salsa to celebrate this day.

 

 

 

This is my Granddad -who is truly remarkable.

His devotion to the Lord has always been his guide.

He lives with joy and a heart to love and serve others.

How I love getting to him hear sing and talk about his garden.

 

 

The Everyday

When I get to uploading our pictures from the camera, I usually call the hubs over to come take a look. It is good for us to remember the everyday moments and the special times we share as a family. This past year and a half we have endured some very hard times yet as we look at the pictures we realize just how present the Lord is in the everyday. The gift of each other is truly remarkable.



These two share a special kind of love.
A note: he was not hurt in this picture...just making a silly face :)

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Taking care of their little buddies

Working on teamwork in our casa

A very fun family day



We have us some incredible Ethiopian runners



Trying to dance like Daddy

Enjoying some fruit from some locals as we traveled along past their home.




Making sure everyone has enough



Making me work a little harder but what a good travel companion




He has now caught up to me.
33 will be a fabulous year



Making cookies for friends



Sweet-ums

The last of the miscarraige...at least for now

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The loss was inevitable; our hearts had begun to prepare for this loss. It still stung. In its short life my life had been changed. I longed for this one even without seeing its face or discovering each little facet of its being. The joys of watching it grow, teaching of its loving Maker, seeing him explore the world with his siblings. I feel the pain in his absence.

The pain of miscarriage is one that is often hidden yet ours could not be private even if wanted, as our boys had begun telling the neighborhood, “Mommy has a baby in her tummy.” Their excitement over this new sibling spilled out and the joy could not be contained. It is the beauty of new life. When treasures are hidden there is a deep desire to unearth that which was once a mystery. It cannot remain hidden but must be revealed in His Sovereign timing.

As this one was placed in the most unpleasant of final earthly homes, I asked the doctor on this gift. How could we ever deny the existence of a mighty and loving Creator? Yet still the years of study and research confuses a heart and steal the wonder of life. The foolish things have been hidden even by the wisest of the world yet Truth cannot be hidden for long, it might be concealed for a time but life will eventually filter through those broken crevices and magnificent Light will shine.

As broken vessels before the Potter there we lay our crowns and weights before Him.  Broken vessels are the means by which the Son exposes light. His glory revealed through our mess. There He meets us and comforts us as we wait for the darkness to be removed and the light to cover us.  We wait in our own little hiding places, which are unique to each of our journeys with Him.

There is a broken place that when others view us with earthly eyes, they see pain, even desperation, yet our eyes have met the Savior. It is beauty from ashes. Instead of only sorrow, mercy and love from the Father wash over us. Our eyes fixed on Jesus; the One who sits enthroned above wraps us safely in His arms and we are held. He gives us the picture of His love-as a father carries a son. He holds us.

Sitting there in that office, absent for only a day of the littlest one within, the waters of my soul had began to settle from the crashing waves, the mud and mire had receded to shore. My eyes could look up from self and my broken heart to these poor souls who spend their days striving for success and happiness. It is a meaningless pursuit. Their expectation lies in the things of this world.

 On my previous hospital visits to hopefully sustain this one, I only occasionally looked into the eyes of these who have not yet seen or understood His love.  Before the unknown was consuming and altered my response; yet the waters had already receded, and there I stood, standing wading in His comfort and joy. My heart was shattered but my trust and faith grasped Christ with a greater resolve. Once again He proved trustworthy and worthy of my devotion.

Death has lost its sting-when our faith is pressed hard-pain and trial flow. I am only an earthen vessel. My vision can so easily be fixed on the lesser and yet He calls me to remember His coming. The gospel is my aim. His renown is my pursuit.

Worship is that which beckons us nearer. Whether in the storms of life or the peaceful waters we are reminded often to praise Him.  In His presence we can no longer stay fixed on our shame or circumstances but on the One who sustains and rides on the wings of the wind when He hears us call.

  Our lives are not without pain or sadness. It’s just that we no longer see the temporal as our satisfaction. The One is what we long to behold. Even when the waters rise and we walk through fire we rest knowing that we will not be consumed or overtaken because there is the Presence. “I will be with you.” In His hovering we find our rest, our satisfaction.  There we are hidden from the gust of the strong winds as He conceals us and we breathe with a sigh of relief that we are safe.

The treasures of this world can seem to be hidden for a season, only waiting for us to uncover as the perishable puts on the imperishable. The treasure worth holding onto is a life spent dwelling with the One…longing for that day when He will return. Truly learning what it means to say, "In Your presence is fullness of joy."

 

 

 

 

Rom 16:25-27; I Cor 1:18-31; Luke 8:17; Isa 57:20; Ps 103:1-;PS 111:1-4; Ps 145; Heb 13:15; Ps 18:10;104:3; Joel 2:19; Deut 32; Isa 43:1-3;Ps 16

Presence in the waiting

The doctor had just returned our phone call and passed on the news that the numbers remained unchanged. Our hearts clung to the tiny piece of hope yet still our hearts ached. This precious life was holding on…yet only more waiting would reveal if this life would within months be held in our hands or soon be in the hands of our Heavenly Father. That night I offered back up to the Lord the words that He had placed on my heart the very day the day the pain began. “I give this soul back into Your safe hands.”  Worship at its root is not without pain…it is surrender…and praise to the One who holds all things together.         
 

Unbeknownst to me, moments before we received the call, our tender-hearted four year old son, along with his almost twin-brother, spent their rare winter outdoor time picking little yellow flowers for me. It is somewhat of a barren environment, without an abundance of plants, yet they gave of themselves to go through the barren place and find beauty. They seem at times to be unaware of our pain and days of uncertainty, yet moments after hearing this saddening news, he entered my room with these newly plucked flowers. Like our God, this is a love that gives beauty in the midst of heartache. They were instruments of healing for my hurting heart.  


 His tiny hands placed into mine a gift of love. I held them close as a reminder of the heavenly Father’s comfort being poured out in our pain. Even before we received the grim diagnosis the Lord had reminded me just days before that He longs to be gracious, and His compassion is abundant and sure. The Majestic One concerned with even me. Even offering little yellow flowers to ease the pain and offer reassurance that He is hovering over us.

There have been two major moments of heartache as we wait for our sixth, and each one has been met with my child reminding me, to stand in awe, to worship this One. In our children’s complete trust and unlimited joy I am reminded to go again to the hiding place. I find Him there. Every time! We have often been reminded this past week that we are not walking this alone.   So many loved ones throughout the world responded with their concern for this little one and their commitment to prayer. The prayers of others have released a grace and peace that cannot be explained. It is the gift of the body that allows us to rest and stand with strength. 

The days of trials and waiting must be met with pure moments of worship, offering our fresh flowers back to Jesus.  Our words of adoration, songs of praise, and confessions of trust are placed at His scarred feet. There we praise.  We learn to trust that the One who spoke life is worthy of our affection and the most precious of treasures.
 
We see Him there before the throne and our eyes are able to see past the veil and into the eternal. We enter in between the curtains beholding Christ in His glory.

There we worship…

There have been times of scraped knees and failure as we doubt or turn away from truth, but through that we once again experience His wonderful works. It is not our efforts or perfection that victory comes, it is by God’s love and grace that we marvel at promises revealed. Oh, the comfort that comes when the love is poured out even after stumbling and waiting impatiently. There I can rest; knowing that even if my heart wanders, He forgives and removes it as far as the east is from the west. I am loved despite my struggling…then I am able to look back to the Worthy One.

There we worship…

As the sustainer and Maker of all…the lover of our soul…His works and character cause us to press in, to understand more deeply this rich love. This is the wonder of His thick presence in the waiting.

As His presence rested (stayed, dwelt, comforted) on Mount Sinai and filled the Temple and Tabernacle. The cloud was the means to reveal His awesome presence to the chosen ones. As we usher in His presence with our songs and hearts bent in praise and acceptance of brokenness, we welcome the Holy One to overwhelm and fill us with wonder. We wait for His presence to lead us to the next place where we are to pitch our tent. We can trust that He is near.

These moments of waiting are sacred. Life is no longer about the mundane but living out our purpose of resting in His glory as we journey to the land of promise.  There is great anticipation as we wait to see what He will do through this trial. The once barren places of our heart learn to sing even through the wilderness because we have experienced His goodness time and time again. We look to the face of the One who bore all to carry us. There we stand amazed that He has met us.

Worship is not based on a ritual or what the world around us is doing but it is praise to the Maker for His limitless love and majestic works. It is learning to rest. It is surrendering all to Him. Running again to the hiding place and dwelling in the place that He has chosen at this time.

No matter what lies ahead our desire is to-- remain worshipping, experiencing Him in the pain, celebrating life and breathing in His presence as He hovers over us.

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The life within my womb ended days after this was written. This litte ones life was measured in weeks but the Lord's presence was the eternal gift quenching our thirst and leading us to press in. Once again we are reminded to keep eyes fixed on our eternal home when we will once again celebrate this “little legacy” and stand in complete awe before our Savior and Heavenly Father.

Ps 31:5; Isa. 51:12; Deut. 32:11; Isa 63:9; Ps 31:20; 2 Cor. 4; Gen 1:3; Deut 1:31; Heb. 12:2;  

I Kings 8:11; Ex 24:16; Ex 40:34; Heb 4:15-16; 12:1-3

Life Unexpected

***I actually wrote this weeks ago as I was joyfully anticpating a new life in our faimly. That precious one now awaits our return in glory. We celebrate all the same. ***

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Our friends had just left our home and though tired from a week of corralling 5 little ones and cooking for a small tribe that night, I begged my husband to leave our home and head into the cold night to buy the test. My heart needed confirmation that my “instincts” were correct.  The Lord had been whispering that new life was ahead.   

It will forever be a day of great joy and celebration as I recall my husband and I and staring at the proof of new life. And then we decided that another test was needeed.  So he went again. And just as the first time, we waited and the confirmation appeared.

 Life was present.

 Standing there in that moment, His presence was thick. It was joyful. It was amazing. As in the first time I discovered I was pregnant, I laughed with delight. For me tears are usually a first response in such joyous times but on that Friday night, I giggled with delight as my Father proved once again that He can shine light in the darkest of places.

A day later, our news had somewhat settled, my husband and I got to escape and enjoy a date night at our favorite, a fun, expensive Tex-Mex restaurant here in Asia. We were after all celebrating!! As we walked that night we talked about how the barren days had prepared us for this. I am sure if children had entered our family through a more normal path almost 10 years ago, we might stand back and question at the Lord adding a sixth legacy. Instead the years of longing for children and the pain that was met during those long days has not been forgotten by either of our hearts.The pain has led us to offer thanks even when we feel pressed and see that the though we are in unfamiliar territory, we trust that we will look into the wilderness and the manna will already be provided. This life was a gift to celebrate.

My body is not exactly a perfect habitat for life to begin…it has been scarred by surgeries and almost two decades of a disease that steals life and breeds pain. In His intimate ways, He had been preparing my already full heart and hands to get ready for another gift.  Days before a feeling that the Creator had once again, in His graciousness, knitted this little ones frame and breathed life into this barren home. A soul that we must patiently wait to meet…yet blessing even in these first days.
 

A new joy in finding Him… His presence my theme these past few weeks is followed by the awareness of a new life present within my womb. I just needed to remain on my knees in awe of His works and trust Him once again to lead us through most barren wilderness and most fertile valleys. This discovery will alter our course of life not only for the next few months but for the rest of time. This soul has been fashioned by the Maker of all. Our privilege is to tell this one daily of His glorious work.

For the first years of our parenting the theme has been redemption, Christ the One who in our brokenness and need rescued us and adopted us as His heir.  These past two years we have experienced the miracle that He truly is the giver of new life. Each path so unique and different yet we are privileged to walk this journey and see beauty in each of our children's lives as they embrace LIFE with Him.

 

We stand in awe of this life within and the deep work of the soul. We remain at His feet in complete surrender for His abundant strength and joy for each and every treasure.

A good winter

It's winter time around here. We have had lots of visitors from the states and enough sickness to last us all year. We have also gotten to celebrate two birthdays. These boys sure do love getting to pick their birthday celebrations. Since we have missed out on lots and lots of years with our boys, each marker like this is especially special! It's a gift from the Lord!

 

It's been pretty cold around here, well at least in our apartment.  Thankfully the sun has decided to come out the past few days and it has been absolutely marvelous!! The children are really doing well. It has been such a neat season of seeing them play together and enjoy some serious quality time. We have enjoyed this season of peace and bonding even in the midst of lots of indoor time. Amen.

 



 

These boys can paint!

I love this picture for many reasons.

These boys love to read.

They love each other.

They love this quilt.

Notice the big, beautiful, bright colored quilt.

This was made by my very talented friend, Sharon.

She sewed this sun quilt for our family!!!

 Every time I see it I think of her love for our family and how the Lord has covered us with His love even during some very hard days. SO thankful for her and her amazing family .Even though we live in different parts of Asia, she has been a remarkable, faithful friend as our family has gone from two to seven in the past few years.

 

A date with my newest four year old!!

Scarfs are key to my winter survival and happiness.

Strawberry shortcake his choice two years in a row.

What most of my days look like.
I LOVE being their mom!!

Daddy time.
Is she really so big that she can put her hair in a ponytail?
 

family of seven

The month of November has been full of travels. I was gone for a week, first time away for me. Painful and sweet! Hubs was amazing and impressed me once again by how he can tackle any challenge. Chris had a trip for a few days and then our family made a trip too.  

 

Last weekend was our family trip. It was a day and half trip. We spent about 20 of those hours traveling. We tell our boys that traveling is an adventure...let's make it fun.

 

We got to talk with people from all over the world.

Had a sweet restaurant lady buy the boys their first sodas. I couldn't tell her they don't drink soda. The boys were pumped.

Gloria received way too much attention from the fellow passengers

All seven of us shared a hotel room.

We watched the Gaza situation on BBC...praying, praying, praying for peace.  sure puts things perspective.

Played at a great park.

Walked way too long in one of the most crowded cities to enjoy some western food.

The kids rode their first double-decker bus and their 57th airplane (estimating)

We spent way too much time in line at the airline counter because some Asian airlines don't understand families with five children.We could only buy 4 children's seat.  TJ actually had to be accompanied by one of their people because we had to buy his ticket separately. On the return flight we reassured them that we (his parents) could take care of him. Seriously!

 

 

 

The journey continues  for our family, but how much growth we have experienced this year! We have much to be thankful for!  He sets the  lonely in families...and heals the brokenhearted.

Happy Thanksgiving.